bits of randomness

Randomness #1    I went out with friends from grade school tonight. It was three girlfriends that I have had the chance to reconnect with on facebook. I haven't been in relationship with them since I moved away in 6th grade. One of them has kids the same age as mine... we connected last year and got together, such a blast to have kids that will grow up visiting each other once a year!  Those three girls have been friends since they were in the first grade! (earlier actually.) I was sweet to see friendship that has so many years attached to it. I really enjoyed myself... (thanks to my mom for watching the 3 older kiddos).

Randomness #2    I miss my husband, my mother in law, my sweet friend cassie, all my fabulous mom friends... Jen Du, Jen Da, Jessica D, Rachel H, Amy F, and MANY others... along with all their sweet kids that bring me and my kiddos joy to have fun with. Oh couldn't forget miss sarah that was just in africa for five months and I only saw her for a few days before I left... I miss her too.

Randomness #3    I want to go to a pool outside... I want to swim so much but I know that swimming this year will be more different than its EVER been for me before. I LOVE to swim (in a pool area...not  so much bodies of water where living things swim).. and let me redefine that... I don't swim as much as I relax. Laying in the sun is something that i have LOVED to do since i was 12. I just know that going to the water with these four  will be anything BUT relaxing. I am sure we will do it sometime here soon... whenever we have more than one hot day in a weeks time.

Randomness #3    I am tired of telling Foster the same things he can't do... everyday... I want him to just GET it and be perfectly obedient and helpful. But I also don't want a grown adult child yet... because at that point I don't get to tell him what to do in life.

Randomness #4   I wish my family could go to the outer banks with all of my husband's side of the family this year... I didn't think I wanted to go when we were asked (and could have attempted to start saving for it) because I didn't know what it was going to be like once Betsy arrived. But being in Michigan makes me realize we could have done it (physically maybe not financially) and had a great time. Oh well, hopefully life will allow us all to vacation together as a big family while all the kids are still somewhat young at least once!

Randomness #5 I have realized that I could easily create a naughty little monster out of my little peanut... she's so darn cute when she is bad that I have GOT to stop letting her do things that at age 3 will make us have SERIOUS power issues.

Randomness #6 I really like being in a bigger house. I don't long for one or desperately wish I had one, but having more space to do things is refreshing and I haven't felt overwhelmed here yet... so honey you built the deck now just put 3 walls around it and a roof... we'd gain a bunch of space from that!


Randomness #7   This one is serious. I have seen about 3 BAD accidents in the past few days that I have felt the mortality of my children and my own life become tangible. I feel like I could reach out a touch it, just how easy it is to have a tragic thing happen... not out of fear but out of knowing that this world is broken and bad things happen all the time. I haven't worn my seat belt with this much conviction in a LONG time... (if ever.)

Randomness #8   Do you ever look at your kids individually and feel like you can sense a special bond with that specific kid? Its like there is this sense that what I have with you is different than all the others... but not better. I feel like my bond with each of these kids is super different yet the same amount of love.

Random #9   Do you ever think about what you like is what makes you "you"... and then remember why? like my favorite number when I was a kid was 49 (still is don't let me fool you).. because i was born on 4/9... and my dad's was 4/8 and he was obsessed with our bdates... I wanted my own to be cool too so I began liking 4 then 9, then I decided I liked them both... I used to have pictures of the number hanging in my room, & my sports #s were always one of them. So what's funny is that I just typed that Random #9 at the top of this paragraph... and it was like I felt a slight connection to the number... its like I hit a favorite button of emotion or something... and it reminded me of younger me. (I told you this is random)

Random #10 If I could push pause on life I would right now. Betsy is sleeping on my chest while I lay on the couch with the lights off and the tv on mute. I can hear her breathe... its heavenly.

Im starting to fish for randomness so that's my cue... Im done. Good night.